acceptance

acceptance..
i guess it's one of d ting i lack of,
when i tink tings back, i guess it's true.
when there's less acceptance,
then the hope's too high, or the expectations too high,
until at one point u get disappointed when tings fall apart,
or when tings dun turn out as planned, or expected,
i guess it all starts wif an acceptance,
sometimes we juz try so hard to please each one,
but in reality u hav no control over everyting,
so juz accept tings as they are coz there's always a light shining beneath each darkness,
was chatting with a fren of mine,
she who always makes me realize there's actually an answer underlying a doubt in a heart,
sumtimes when i tink my world is upside down..
she's always able to patch up my heart..
n in the end i start to figure out what mistakes that i've done all this while..
n not forgetting to make me aware that there's is always a solution, when i tot there's a deep blockage..thanx :)

dads should be highly appreciated..

a clip shared by my friend..a petronas one..makes me miss my dad :(

in the midst of writing an assignment ;p

the sixth sense,
it juz happens to come,
full of suspense,
matters to overcome..
hearts to mend,
friendship not to rot,
to that particular friend,
i love her a lot.. :)

hunting

hunting,
and keep on hunting,
when will u ever stop hunting,
don't u realize that you'll never get what you're hunting for,
it's just a hunt that you know will just make you disappointed,
so what's the point of hunting when you know the fish is gone,
you never stop trying to hunt,
because it matters a lot to you,
and it tingles your heart whenever u think about it,
at one point you did catch a lot of fish in one go,
but then your carelessness, unthoughtfulness and self-centred attitude made it slip away, one by one,
until in the end, what do u have left..

consequences

The road you chose, brings a consequence on its own,
Thus stop pointing fingers, looking for a blame,
Sometimes you have sighs, dissatisfactions,
Sometimes you wish you could spread yourself, n divide into pieces,
Sometimes you wish you could always paint smiles on faces, eliminate miseries,
But then again, you are just human,
An ordinary human walking on the steps of the earth,
You don't have the extra-ordinary powers to control, nor the ability to always please,
Hence what you decide reflects back on you,
And all you have to do is to live it on..

susie suh

i like dis song from susie suh - give me heart

enjoy! :)

where

where's d sense of dignity,
u hold on to.
where's d calm,
dat kept u still.
where's d strength,
dat stands within.
where's d sense,
awareness n thoughtfulness.
keeps u shivering inside,
keeps u wandering around,
looking for a 'peace' of mind.

tagged again..

7 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME:

1. if u dunno me, u may tink i'm a quiet person..but if u get to know me, i culd be a bit crazy n like to fool around as well..;p

2. i'm in love wif mocha...haha...i dunno y...i usually order mocha if i wanna buy coffee..but generally, i juz like to drink coffee..it makes my day.

3. i like eating fish..be it 'fish n chips', fish fingers, fillet-o-fish in Mc Donalds, n my fav one is sambal goreng ikan keli..miss it

4. i love apple..hav no particular reason y..:D..i also like anyting wif apple flavour/smell..haha..apple-cinnamon or cinnamon would also do as well

5. i really appreciate all my true frenz n people whom i feel i culd trust..i
may sometimes seem as if i dun care, but actually these people are highly appreciated :)

6. i tink im better to express myself in writing, than in verbal words...if im angry, happy or sad...i may not say it out loud, or not so expressive even if i say it, i feel better if i express it in writings, ym, sms, etc

7. i like to tink alot. sometimes over-tink. haha;p

7 THAT SCARE ME:

1. God
   
2. Dogs, it's not that im scared of them, but it's juz dat i dun like getting near to it, i guess basically it includes any other walking furry animals. :D
3. Making d wrong decision, choosing d wrong path
   
4. Losing people i care about
   
5. Statues in the dark kind of give me the creeps.haha
   
6. Losing faith, Lost
   
7. bombs, wars, earthquakes, crashes, etc
   

7 RANDOM MUSIC AT THE MOMENT:

1. broken - lifehouse
   
2. all i have - jennifer lopez
   
3. best i ever had - vertical horizon
   
4. susie suh - give me heart
   
5. keane - everybody's changing
   
6. maroon 5 - nothing last forever
7. echo - vertical horizon

7 things i say the most

1. macam
2. u know wut
   
3. yeah wutever; yeah ok; yeah rite
   
4. sukati la
   
5. ntah la
   
6. x sure
   
7. ye kot;, agaknye la; i tink so
   

7 THINGS I TREASURE THE MOST:

1. my laptop.
2. my blog. haha
3. my old diaries
   
4. collection of pitures
   
5. my keychain collection.haha
   
6. my experiences
   
7. people i care about
   

7 “FIRST TIME” THINGS I EVER DID:

1. i wear contact lens - june 2006
   
2. i ever had a paid job - january 08, at bt publishing (thanx to ridwan :D)
   
3. i baked a cake on my own - last raye (tp xsedap pn) haha
   
4. i participated in a dance - august 2008
   
5. first time i wore glasses - when i was in standard four
   
6. was in debate - when i was in form four
   
7. was away from my parents - when i was in standard 6
   

PEOPLE TO DO THIS:

anyone reading dis :)

tagged by izati :D

1. Do you believe in love at first sight?
- used to, last two raya :p .but i guess not anymore

2. Do you eat without brushing your teeth?
- nope.

3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
- somewhere, where my heart is always at peace

4. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
- be the richest person in the planet - (rich here not only means rich wif money, but rich wif everting else)

5. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
- there's always a rainbow after d rain, but d duration of the rainbow to appear varies

6. Do you like being who you are today?
- manusia xpernah puas ati ;p

.

7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
- spend it

8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
- dun like making d first step

9. Who are the top five people in the world you would wish to meet?
- hmm..no one in particular at the moment, ill get back to dis ques soon

10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
- hmm..honesty, openness, trust, truthfulness

11. Which type of cars I love the most?
- not rili into cars.haha.but will look into it later

12. Which do you prefer from your other half? hug? or a kiss?
- none ;p

13. What is your status now?
- u guess ;p

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
- should be , to be a faithful Muslim, but i realize that im not a good one

15. Are you a shopaholic or not?
- depends on my money condition - usually a bit moderate

16. What kind of electronic device/gadget you own that you like most?
- laptop ni kot

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
- many, to start wif - my indecisiveness n negative thoughts

18. What makes you feel disappointed?
- when promises are not kept, or feel stabbed in d back

19. If given a chance, do you want to see your future?
- hmm..hard to say no, but also scary to say yes ;p..but myb if i know d future, then life will b more effortless

20. If u can put yourself under the knife of surgery, which part of your body will u wish to change?
- shuldnt b changed by plastic surgery, but by eating patterns n work outs.haha ;p

Big 'L's that ends wif an 'R'

today i'd like to talk bout d letter 'L',
how it brings alot of significant meanings to me,
it juz represents many tings that runs in my head these days,
i juz dun get how some of 'L' words even have to exist,
they juz make life a doubtful place n full of conflicts,
sometimes i wonder,
do i look too naive,
or the easy to step-on-the-head one,
it makes me think why im even involved,
sometimes it's a matter of world's apart,
bang, it hits me,
the reality check..
well some 'L's do grants a smile,
but of course it's always as temporary as ever,
the smiles, the brightness,
life itself does't last forever..

Lifehouse

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

## -
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life

##

I'm hanging on another day just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

##

I'm holdin' on
I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

[quick response]

( grabbed from ju's blog..:) )

loVE- is unpredictable

wisHes- to b on d right path

bElieve- in God

LauGh- makes d world a brighter place :)

couragE- to hav a defence in one's self; inner strength

livE- life moderately

cheriSH- grants a smile

dreaM- not all are achievable

sunshiNe- comes after d rain

addict- mocha; coffee :]

guEss- reminds me of a bag yg xjadi beli last summer hol :(

AngeL- is always all around u

loST- a state of mind

i TAG - izati, amna, sya, ida, amrin, syal, asyi, fathiah, emelin

hang in there

digging for a focal point,
makes u wonder,
wut's d main factor,
of u staying,
when u tink beyond,
nuting left to hold on to,
but u keep on searching,
wut is it,
dat holds u still,
sometimes u figure,
if it's worth d patience.

upcoming forces

u want to stop a consistent force,
which at times u do favour,
u find out dat deep down u still haven't got d spirit..
u want to pull a horse,
to a fountain of water,
but u can't force it to drink it..
u want stop a start,
n want to put it in a halt,
but somehow u don't have a stabilized inner strength,
perhaps d intentions should first be set at d highest length..

apologies

sometimes just following d heart too much..
or may be a bit too egocentric at times..
perhaps a bit of a misunderstanding..
or somehow a matter of envious..
rather heaps of timidity dat blocks d way..
occurring erroneous misinterpretations..
sometimes it's juz d absent-mindedness,
or perhaps d overflowing of emotions,
that controls an action..
thus a thousand apology is conveyed..
to d feelings dat have been hurt..
n d hearts dat have been unintentionally scratched..:(

bewildered

untying the knots,
controlling the drive,
rambling thoughts,
starting the dive,
having heaps,
meandering around,
gives u the creeps,
stepping on the ground..

a bit of a say

Have u ever woke up in the morning and felt that everyting is out of place..
Sometimes u may feel dat u lose ur direction, or lose ur focus,
U start searching but somehow u juz dont seem to find wut's lost..
Somehow d holes seem to be getting bigger n u juz can feel it..
U start figuring out wut is it that u wish u culd mend,
Sometimes there's juz no answer or immediate solution,
Perhaps it's juz a matter of rationality and having an aim that's set..
Being calm n keeping cool would possibly do as well..

...voices...voices...

Jennifer Lopez Feat. LL Cool J - All I Have - A funny movie is a click away

tings i do when i'm tensed up

* eat chocolate
* listen to related music
* talk 2 a close fren
* write a new blog entry
* go to d gym
* tink so much
** pray to God and read calming verses

been tagged

hey sya, im doing dis tag for u, but juz a simple one.hehe

• The first time I watched porn

never rili watched one

• The first time I had a crush

it was in either standard 6, or form 1 or 2 - xingt. hehe

• The first time I was away from home

when i was in standard 6 , my parents weren't in malaysia

• The first time I had a music player

last year - this Creative one

• The first time I “fly”

when i was 4 - to Pakistan (sori sya, dun hav the other 'fly' experience.cant tink of any) haha

n im tagging:
1.fizam
2.afir
3.amrin
4.emelin
5.ida
:)

hatched

jammed, unrevealed,
never knowing,
an egg that's juz hatched..
many to it than juz a little chick..
trying to get to know it..
right from d beginning,
straight from zero..
perhaps cheating before,
successfully placing a veil,
but now no more,
awaken from a sleep,
juz proceeding,
as it's a little too late n far to impede.

darkenings

darken alley that surrounds,
covers the vague brightness,
bewildering and going round,
nearing a coating that's ruthless,
is there still in a nick of time..
to vanish all the grime..

...

yeah, wutever ...

spinning n meandering

it juz keeps spinning around..
always meandering..
never still..
at first it stops and is determined..
but then again, it runs at its normal phase again..
it's like a game..
having it's low n high moments..
sometimes making u feel on top of d world..
but when u pinch urself..
u walk on the ground below..
tracking footsteps..
looking back..

The Unquestionable Faith

when there's nothing left in this world to hold on to..
there's always Him to always have faith in..
for He is always true and the only Al-Mighty..
He is always there, either near or faraway from our hearts..
Depends on our remembrance towards Him
Whatever we do could definitely be hidden from human beings but could never be hidden from Him..
for He knows everything that lies beneath any surface in this world..
there are times when we feel down and empty in the heart..
just get close to Him and the calmness will always be there..

..ing

triggering..
meandering..
tormenting..
interrogating..
fidgeting..
meddling..
regaining..