song of the week

i failed again.
i tried my best.
but failed.

craps.

when i read other people's blogs, i guess my blog is less informative, or in other words, i just write crap.;p.im amazed at how some people could nicely write out their opinions, very useful.well, anyway. there is just approximately 2 weeks left before i go home. frankly speaking, i haven't really done any packing or anything.perhaps i guess im a bit emotionless at the moment.today my friend asked me how i was feeling to go back, but all i can is that i am emotionless.or maybe a bit of a mixed feeling.perhaps procrastinators only feel the pressure towards the very end.;p.most of my friends have neatly started to sort out their things.as for me, ive done nothing yet.maybe i should start tonight at least for a bit.time flies so fast, it just moves on so fast, leaving us behind.it just makes me wonder what have i been doing for all this while.whether it's worthwhile, or did it just come to waste.well perhaps what im sure of is that there are many things i've learned throughout my stay here, in many aspects.it could even be the very little things that we go through every single day which teaches us alot.we ask unanswerable questions, we wonder, we figure, but in the end only God knows the best.perhaps some answers are unable to be revealed.only He is the one who knows everything.

Random

Playlist of the day:

Warwick Avenue -Duffy
Broken Strings - James Morrison
This Love - The Veronicas
Pills - The Perishers
Cahaya - Kris Dayanti
Still Alright - Adam Merrin
Light Years Away - Mozella
Home - Dishwalla
This is the Last Time - Keane
My Heart - The Perishers
4 in the morning - Gwen Steffani

a new hope perhaps :)

everything happens for a reason,
i guess everything we go through actually teaches us 1 little part in life,
there r times when the sudden thoughts come to mind,
of what is it that we actually need and what is it that's worthwhile,
but why is it actually difficult to follow the needs and the wants,
n always just going against it,
sometimes we know what we want n what we should do,
but in the end of the day we forget,
then tomorrow comes and we remember again,
perhaps that's how life goes,
at times we forget, at times we remember,
but in the end we should know what is it that we want to hold on to,
they say it is not wrong to hope,
perhaps only time will tell.
;]

james morisson feat. nelly furtado

.

u just need to open your eyes

when disordered emotions outweighs rationality

when your feet hit the ground,
u just realized wut u actually did,
sometimes u were flying high up in the air,
until everything u do was just calmly ok,
but when land on the stepping ground,
u realize that u could just be categorized as being stupid,
it's just because of the magical power which blurs the eye,
wishing u would have done something else,
and there's just nothing u can do now to make a difference,
sometimes realization comes in a few days or even weeks after,
perhaps it just shows how you should always be careful,
because you can never turn back time,
nor can you ever stop it.

appreciations

i should be doing my assignment, but this is what i did instead. it's very rare i post something like this. well today, i would just like to appreciate the people who had made an impact in my life.

I -u r like a gift from God to me. i dunno when we started being close. but wut i remember is that u made an impact in my life ever since. there are so many things that we could relate to with each other, being paranoia, crazy, etc. we may not hang out that often, but we know that we are always there for each other. it's just nice to have things to talk about and just having a sense of comfortableness.not creating an awkward silence. without u perhaps i could be a lost soul. this is a friendship i would rili want to cherish and dun want to lose. thank you for being u.love u.

A-with you, i could just talk about anything at all without being judged. being with you, there are always things to say, always feeling comfortable. u r always so cool with me even though i could be a pain in the ass. u could be honest at times, in a good way, which is very helpful to me. thanx for always being there especially in times i needed someone the most. u gave me support even when i do the stupidest things. each knock on the door always brings a smile to my face. fate brought us together, n im grateful for that. may God bless u.

A- they say miracle happens unpredictably. this person is someone i never knew i'll be close with. it just so happen by time and situation.perhaps being among the only soul survivors here last year made us hang out with each other more often. i found out that there are things we could relate to and i could just easily trust and get along with her.this is a person with a heart of gold.i know we dun hang out often with each other often recently, perhaps being busy with our own lives.but im always here if u need me k. thanx for every single thing. knowing u is one of the best things that has happened to me.love u ;)

J- this is someone ive known for ages. it's good to know someone faraway from u who'll always be close in ur heart. not being awkward with each other even though we rarely see each other. the friendship we own is something so special to me, n is something i would always love to cherish. im sorry i've not always been there for u.perhaps the distance made it hard. but u know i love u rite.n im always here for u if u need me.i know ur going thru alot, i hope everyting turns out to be the best for u because u deserve nothing but the best. looking forward to see u soon

N- we've been through alot. ups and downs. u made an impact in my life. no matter how good or how bad, u'll always be remembered as someone who'll always leave some footprints in my heart. u taught me alot of things, let alone giving me a chance to go through a lot experiences in my life. perhaps there are just some things that go beyond control, n there's just nothing we could do but just hope.if only it were just so simple, but it's just beyond that and sometimes it's just too hard. u know that i'll always love u no matter how things turn out to be. i just wish u all the happiness u could get, with or without me. thanx for opening my eyes to another part of the world.n i'll always pray all the goodness for u.

A- this is someone who is always there giving me a helping hand.always there if i need to clarify my doubts.she doesnt now how much she always brightens up my life.without her maybe ill feel lost at times.she's also the one who introduced me to this blog thingy. we dun hang out much often, but i know that i could feel comfortable around her.recently i find out that there are things we could relate to, like being paranoid together.but i guess im the one who's always the more paranoid one.hehe.i just want to say thank you for every single thing u've done.im just glad that u'r here.:)

E-this is someone ive known since form one.i guess the only friend im really close with since high school.she lives nearby home in ampang n im looking forward to see her soon.she's getting engaged soon, n im so happy for her.we meet each other very rarely, but i know there's just so much to say everytime we meet. we could just talk about anything at all.perhaps having a chemistry that's just rare to be found.thanx for being u. n i hope that this friendship will never end.i just love you.

perhaps this list of appreciation will never end.but i shall stop now.thanks to every other people who has made an impact in my life.love u all ;)

sooner or later

at times i do feel like i want to turn over a new leaf,
looking back at the things i've done,
thinking back wut i've said or did,
perhaps there should still be room for improvement,
taking this last moments doing things i should do,
n leaving out wut i shouldn't do,
it makes me wonder how i could always go through a series of twist and turns,
all at the same time,
it's sometimes funny how there could just be sudden or unplanned actions,
how things turn out not to be the way u want or like it to be,
perhaps in the end of the day all that's left is a sense of determination,
give a space for your own say,
if not often but at least just for this once,
it may not last but i don't know,
i just don't know..


nelly furtado - all good things come to an end

mozella - light years away

hearts

at times when the heart feels empty..
lacking the streak of light..
the calmness is rarely there..
perhaps that could answer the question why the mixed of emotions regularly occur..
possibly getting sad and disappointed easily..
fretting over things that are not worth the exhaustive thought...
being overly sensitive..
quarreling and creating conflicts too often..
perhaps also having a strength within that's just easy to be demolished..
no wonder why sometimes a heart can be in two totally different actions..
like black n white, right after one another..
sometimes when coming to resolve a problem that occurs..
it's always hoped that the weakness within won't easily obstruct the definite say... wut does it take to purify a heart..
perhaps being closer to Him could create the calmness..
as He is the one who owns our hearts..

tagged by miss amrin

1. The who tag/pass you is?
amrien

2. Your relationship with him/her is?
friends :)

3. Your 5 impressions of him/her?
owns a heart of gold
calm
very neat
positive
smart

4. The most memorable thing she/he had done for you?
hmm...being paranoid n procrastinate together :D

5. The most memorable thing she/he had said to you?
banyak mende..she has taught me alot :)

6. If she/he become your lover you will?
not believe it ;p

7. If she/he become your lover, thing she/he has to improve on will be?
it's not gonna happen.hehe

8. If she/he become your enemy, you will?
be sad

9. If she/he become your enemy, the reason will be?
harap2 xde la :D

10. The most desired thing you want to do for her/him now is?
buat tag ni.hehe

11. Your overall impression of her/him is?
baik orangnye :)

12. How you think people around you will feel about you?
haha.i dunno

13. The characters you love of yourself are?
hmm...im bad at answering this question

14. On the contrary, the characters you hate of yourself are?
negative thinking

15. The most ideal person you want to be is:
just myself

16. For people that care and like you, say something to them:
take care.

i tag:
ju, am, zai, tobbie, izati, emelin, anyone reading.

often change of minds and an uncertainty

a few says about myself

fickle - minded.
people who are close to me often describe me with this word. i dun where how or where it came from but i guess it's always been affecting me. at one point i could be certain with something, at another moment or at the very last minute, i could easily change my mind. perhaps it's a part of human nature having a mind and heart that's always changing. never sticking to a certain say of mind. at times having a very heartfelt say, at another moment or day, it could just be twisted to another action. weird but true. perhaps putting too much of a thought over things. n thus resulting to a frequent change of mind, heart and action. it could affect others at times. perhaps being more certain n less of a too-much-thinking could help in times to come.

doubtful.
this is like a disease in me. it affects me in everyday life. i have doubt over many things. n trust me, it's not a great feeling at all. i know it's bad. the doubt could apply to a few things. for example, u do something and in the end of the day u ask urself, did u do it rite. if u think it's not rite, u repeat it again. it could drive me crazy at times. perhaps being more confident could be a help. sometimes perhaps surroundings and situations make me doubt and assume more. but recently i guess it's reduced a bit, due to some moments of confrontations. i hope it will stay that way so that these doubts don't come hunting all the time.

norah jones - don't know why

a few words

''when it's wrong, everything's good,but just temporary''

Thunder

maybe..

maybe everyone are just born with different nature from each other..

we are all different..

but nevertheless , who am i to judge, i myself is a person full of weaknesses..i do many mistakes as well..

surveys

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
game on. ;)

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be
to have the superpowers to be invisible and disappear any time i want ;p

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
no one at the moment

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
spend some, keep some

5. Will you fall in love with your bestfriend?
maybe

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
being loved i guess

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
if there is still hope and a spark of light

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
nothing, be happy for them

9. What do you pray each day for your loved one?
all the goodness

10. What takes you down the fastest?
lies

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
can't foresee the future

12. What do you really want at the moment of responding to this tag?
answers

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
sweet

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
married and rich?

15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
tgok jam at my hp

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
definitely no

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
the one wif more hope and more sincere

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
forgive - yes, forget - takes time, or maybe even no

19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
i prefer not to answer this question

i tag:
-zye
-rien
-ju
-afir
-warid
-amna
-tobbie
-anyone reading

words of the day

once a procrastinator, forever a procrastinator ...

tagged again

"First Times"

First Time to Cook My Own Rice
i think it was when i was 12

First Time to Learn AlQuran
darjah 1 kot if not mistaken, bace Muqaddam

First Time to Have a Laptop
june 2006

First Time to be Away from My Parents
when i was 12, lived wif my grandma

First Time to Write a Story
darjah 1 kot

First Time to Clubbing
never did

First Time Fall in Love
mase darjah 6, was just silly back then ;p

First Time to See the world
officially opened my eyes on 26 aug 1986 but i guess these two years here had really open my eyes to the world

First Time to Buy A Guy Something
mase darjah 6 kot, a keychain ;p

First time to be a middle person...
mase form 1 kot

First Time to Understand What is Life..
perhaps just recently, n still searching for the meaning

First Time to Learn Silat
never really learned silat but learned karate-do ;p

First Time to Meet A King
xpernah, on tv perhaps ;p

My Very First Best Friend
when i was ten at saudi arabia, this girl named maria ishaq bhatti, i wonder how she is now

First Time to Realise that I am Actually A Slow Learner...
during my after school years, or was it during form 5. one slow learner i am ;p, i have to rili read in depths before i culd really understand

First Time to Play Online RPG Game...
not rili into it

First time to live in UK
never did

First Time to Understand Others do Care ABout Me...
days back home

First Time to think about dieting
when i was in standard 5 ;p

The next person to be tagged...

1. amrien hamila
2. siti amnah
3. juliza
4. nurizzati
5. zairila
6. alia
7. emelin
8. tobbie
9. hanafi
10. anyone reading

thank you

nevertheless,
thank you,
for spreading my wings to fly,
for picking up the pieces when it all fell,
for opening my eyes to the world of possibilities,
for making me known of the realization,
perhaps the streak of light which has had its stay,
may have felt its lost when it will not be there,
not quite far from now,
just so soon..
nevertheless,
thank you..

wut is to be

Look in the mirror wut do u see,
Do you know of wut is to be,
All the occurrence beyond of the set,
Will the passing by make you fret,
Twisting and turning,
n all the churning,
Letting the best take over,
Making you wonder,
Just when u put ur mind to a thought,
that's when u realize it's not the sought.

running - evermore

can i runaway from here?

syndrome of laziness has ocurred

**The Who's
Who Was The Last Person You Talked To?
aimi
.
Who Knows The Most About You?
God knows best
.
Who Can Make You Laugh No Matter What?
my bro Shahril, amazingly he can always make my day :)
.
Who Can You Always Count On?
God
.
Who Has Your Heart?
God
.
Who Is Your Best Friend(s)?
perhaps no need to mention names ;)
.
**The What’s
What Is Your Favorite Song At The Moment?
yg kat bawah ni
.
What Are You Looking Forward To?
nuting much at the moment...
.
What Is Your Favorite Color?
deep purple, dark blue
.
What are u feeling at the moment?
disappointed.geram.jiwa kacau sedikit

What Website Do You Visit Most?
facebook.blogs
.
What Is Your Favorite Smell?
vera wang princess :D
.
What Is Your Favorite Movie?
quite a few
.
What Makes You Mad?
when everyting's out of place, serabut(literary n non-literary meaning)
.
What Curse Word Do You Use A lot?
shit ;p
.
What Kind Of Phone Do You Have?
fon? ancient.haha. my motorola one dh rosak at the moment :(
.
What Was The Last Song You Listened To?
a song from someone's blog, xtau the title
.
**The When’s
When Was The Last Time You Went To The Mall?
last thursday, buy a new facial wash :D
.
When Did You Talk To Your Crush Last?
xde
.
When Do or Did You Graduate?
end of next yr, insyaAllah
.
When Is The Next Time You’ll Do Something Fun?
xtau la
.
When Was The Last Time You Ate or Drank Something?
just now, had a gingernut biscuit
.
When Is Your Birthday?
26 august 1986
.
When Was The Last Time You Went To The Movies?`
Gosh, xingat.huhu.was it 2 months ago.dah lama dah kot
.
When Is Your Parents Birthday?
dad- 14 june, mom- 22june
.
When Were You In The Car Last?
in a taxi last week
.
When Will You Be 21?
last year. 23 next yr.tua sudah!:s
.
When Will You Be Taking Your Next Vacation?
dunno, hopefully soon
.
**The Where’s
Where Do You Live?
Ampang
.
Where Is The Best Place To Be?
in my room
.
Where Was Your Last Vacation?
cairns
.
Where Were You Born?
hospital besar seremban
.
Where Is Your Best Friend?
some in australia, some in malaysia
.
Where Was The Last Place Your Were Besides Your Own House?campus?
dis morning - msian hall
.
Where Do You Think You’ll Be In 10 Years?
.a hard question to answer.huhu.skip.

Where Is Your Cell Phone?
on my right, on top of a notebook
.
Where Are Your Parents?
malaysia
.
Where Was Your Display Picture Taken?
in front of qvb
.

michelle branch

notices

u've gone fat, go on a diet

undefined

sometimes it's the things you can't have are the things you want the most,
at times u do realize that it's a matter of worlds,
but humans are humans,
having hearts that's constantly changing,
one moment u are on a different side,
but perhaps the weaknesses are buried deep within,
the voices within which portrays,
maybe it's just a matter of being able to have to the courage to defeat..

maybe..

signs they come,
perhaps u assumed,
differences u see,
perhaps unravel,
afraid u feel,
perhaps unable,
risks untaken,
perhaps rather unconvinced.

hari raya

SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR BATIN kepada semua..
minta maaf kalo ade tersalah kate atau terasa di hati..
Semoga kita semua diberkati ..
:)

mixed mixed

i dunno where to start,
nor do i know y am i feeling like this,
somehow i dun rili know wut im feeling,
it's all the jumbled up mixed one,
can't identify d source of it,
or rather how did it make me feel like this,
wut i know is dat d feeling's not great,
somehow i hear some raindrops pouring on the inside,
at times u do see a side of it,
or rather wut it is that keeps u going,
but perhaps it's just dat u wanna let go of a sigh,
a one which portray how u'r sad to see how it become to be,
or maybe u shuldn't feel dat way,
u shuld rather keep d strength within,
perhaps u'll find an answer some day..

mak

mothers,
they are the ones who never fail to love us,
no matter how rude or unthoughtful we culd get,
they are always there,
at times we culd b forgetful and get too engrossed in life,
sometimes we dun remember to give a simple hello,
but no matter what they are always there,
sometimes we take for granted and dun show much appreciation,
n we'll never know the tears that they hide from us,
perhaps they just keep it all to themselves,
not wanting to worry us,
they are always willing to do anyting for us,
whether we realize it or not,
all the burden we've cause, only God knows,
taking care of us ever since we entered this world,
thus,
appreciate them while we still can,
love them endlessly,
care for them while there is still a chance,
for we cannot imagine a life without them.

just be yourself

Sometimes don't you wish you were someone else..like how u sometimes didnt like the way u are and somehow you wished u were like this or like that...or perhaps u always think that other people are always way better than you...n at times you do try to impress and satisfy others..when u know that is impossible because you are just a normal human being..

Perhaps once in a while i do have those feelings, perhaps when reaching a low and negative point in life...but then i guess i realize that it's wrong to feel like that..God has created all of us differently...with our own strength and weaknesses...n perhaps we human just forget to be grateful with wut we have...and sometimes forgetting to just love ourselves and accept the way we are..

Tagged

Rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog

Starting time : 9.58 pm
Name : norlisa abdullah
Sisters : 2
Brothers : 1
Shoe size : 7/8
Height : 164.5 cm
Where do you live : now in aussie

Have you ever Been on a plane : yup
Swam in the ocean : yup
Fallen asleep at school : jarang
Broken someone's heart : maybe
Fell off your chair : yup

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : nope
Saved e-mails : yup
What is your room like : comfy, but right now bersepah
What's right beside you : some papers on the floor
What is the last thing you ate : some muffin

Ever had Chicken pox : yup, masa darjah 5
Sore throat : yup, banyak kali
Stitches : nope
Broken nose : nope
Do you Believe in love at first sight : big no
Like picnics : yup
Who was were the last personYou danced with : mfest people
Last made you smile : people at 193 td :D

You last yelled at : someone
Today did you Talk to someone you like : yup
Kissed anyone : nope
Get sick : yup, very
Talk to an ex : no
Miss someone : people at home

Who do you really hate: no one
Do you like your hand-writing : when it's not in a rush
Are your toe nails painted : nope
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in : no one

What color shirt are you wearing now : white
Are you a friendly person : depends, usually shy ;p
Do you have any pets : nope
Do you sleep with the TV on : always ;p
What are you doing right now : duduk2 je
Can you handle the truth : i'd rather handle the truth than lies

Are you closer to your mother or father : mother kot
Do you eat healthy : i try to
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex : maybe
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to : close fren
Are you loud or quiet most of the time : depends
Are you confident : NO

5 things I was doing 10 years ago
1) stay at my grandma's
2)studying for upsr ;p
3) wearing those very big sized nerdy eye glasses. haha ;p
4) pegi belajar mengaji kat belakang rumah nenek
5) lead one memorable year

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire
1) buy everything i ever dreamed of
2) travel around the world
3) give my parents a part of it
4) buy my siblings and other family stuffs that they want
5) derma to people who need it like anak yatim

5 of my bad habits
1) procrastinate
2) fickel minded
3) malas ;p
4) egocentric
5) thinking too much

5 places I am living in
1) 107 muv
2) my house kat ampang
3) rumah wan/makwe kat melaka
4) a dream ;p
5) planet earth

5 people I tag
1) Juliza
2) Amna
3) Amrien
4) Tobbie
5) Izati

a few jumbled random facts without a title ;p

i like blueberry and apple cinnamon muffins.

i like carrot cake n cheese cake.

i love Dare double espresso milk coffee.

i am broke but i believe money come n go unexpectedly. rezeki ade di mane2.

i like mocha.

i have a microteaching tomorow but im not fully prepared yet.

i am glad to have friends as crazy as i am, whom i culd relate to n whom i love wif all my heart.

i could be a bit dramatic,paranoid, too sensitive and psychotic at times.

i have a bad habit of procrastinating.

i feel fat all the time.

i easily forgive, but dun easily forget.

i like to eat pear and apple.

i am relieved and glad to do something i did not long ago.

if i had a wish, i want to be invisible.

i like trying, but i easily quit too.

i am multi-offtasking.

i tink i should continue with my work now.

ok bye.

:)

neverending journey

Life has alot to offer,
it can be as sweet as sugar,
sometimes too sweet,
causing insects to surround the scattered tiny particles,
perhaps sweetness is easily spotted by the eyes,
and we always tend to go and reach for it,
perhaps just being an ordinary human,
who prefers the more welcoming ones on the surface,
not really considering other factors.

Life could also be as beautiful as a rose,
red and bright in colour,
the beauty of mother nature,
but deep within lie some thorns on the stems,
perhaps beauty, physical appearance could be deceiving,
wut lies beneath culd never be expected..

The ocean hides a thousand meaning,
it could be a friend at one time and an enemy in the other,
u may happily swim near the shore with laughter and smiles on ur faces,
having a company and cherishes ur day,
but be careful, dun get swept away by the unwelcoming waves,
it may drown you away in an ocean of mystery,
perhaps that's also how life could be,
at first you become happy and enjoy things,
sometimes perhaps over-enjoyment,
thus at times u just get carried away along with the stream of unconsciousness.

Don't be like a feather,
being as light and weightless,
easily blown away by the wind,
faraway up above the sky,
having ur feets nowhere near the solid ground.

Perhaps you should be like the huge trees,
having it roots tied up at its base,
thus rarely being able to be swept away entirely by the wind,
always determine with its stands,
and not easily to be shaken.

Life itself is a trial, a test,
sometimes u just start to learn and have d knowledge of perhaps d simplest tings,
perhaps at times u learn to realize what is it that u are looking for,
and also searching for,
only then u can differentiate between the needs and the wants.
and wut is it to hold on and leave behind or make amends to..
only after u give a slap on ur face is d time when u come back to reality.

the perisher - sway

sometimes

Sometimes they think that you're just stupid,
Perhaps figuring that you are just easily deceived,
Somehow they may think that you believe and accept every word that's uttered,
but perhaps they don't know..
That u also have an opinion that's kept,
And an own belief that rather opposes,
Perhaps u prefer that some things are better left unsaid,
U also refuse to care anymore as much,
Thinking that everyone's space is at their on interest,
Thus staying out with your sealed opinion is wut u shuld do.

pieces

perhaps it did take quite a few months to actually realize n berpijak di bumi yang nyata.maybe it was rather vague before.the point was there, but perhaps it was a bit unclear.perhaps after a few words,a few sessions,a few understandings, then i guess it just struck the mind.perhaps before this it was just heard from far, those remarks which sumtimes we just refuse to take note.perhaps it's true they say, the tree won't sway without the wind.haha.that was a direct translation.;p.not a matter of assumption though.perhaps random pieces of jigsaw puzzles just don't fit into any random places, they need to follow the appropriate shape and orientation.

nope

nope, i refuse to.not anymore.i dun regret. infact, i think i feel better now. :). it's just dat when u just stack up ur mind 2 tink all d time, so when u let it rest for a while, then the feeling's great. perhaps now i shuldn't care or mention as much now. i guess i've said wut i've said before, perhaps sumtimes too often n too much, so now, wutever that comes next is not in my hands and also not my business.sumtimes it's as if a bit of a weight has gone off my shoulders.i guess im just glad.:)

hello :D

haha. to those who read my post two days ago bout, just ignore it k..hehe..thanx for the comments anyway ;)..i suddenly had d urge to write again in here tonite..sori for being fickle minded...too tempting perhaps.;p.

many things in my mind, but perhaps took me long to actually write..depends on my mood perhaps..

it's been two days of fasting..btw, selamat berpuasa to all Muslims...sori for all my wrongdoings k?:)..myb this year it feels a bit different..i guess i will try to make the best of it more than i did before, perhaps being faraway from home, makes me learn more...back home i will just perhaps stick to the norms and dont rili see it in depths..perhaps it culd b a bit of an eye opener now..

people say if u dun go thru tings, then u'll never learn..i guess that's true..the more experience go thru n the more mistakes u make, the more u learn..somtimes it just makes u realize wut is it u lack of, or wut is it that u'r searching for..sumtimes u know wut u want. but perhaps not strong enough to actually do it or rili face it yet..perhaps it's just a phase in life..having a stage where it's perhaps rather a zig zag path...not flowing rather smoothly...

sometimes u dun realize ur actions do affect others, giving a big impact on them..when u tink it's just nuting...perhaps u hav to be more aware in times to come...u just have to be strong, n just hold on to wut u believe in..dun do tings which will just damage other people's feelings as well..u hav to realize where u stand..n leave some tings behind...dun make it a main focus in ur mind..learn to let tings be n to let go...n sometimes u just get so ignorant , until u forget the world around u, bout wut's happening.. perhaps smtimes u just mind ur own business, until u dun realize that it's better to lend a helping hand once in a while...perhaps mixing around with people makes u more aware of the surrounding world around u...n perhaps sincerity is also important, it's not to be questioned...smtimes some may not see or perceive it the way it is, but u shuld know wut u'r doing..

being 22 last week, i hope to become a a better person in many aspects..being a normal human being, full of mistakes n mishaps..perhaps culd always learn, even in the smallest events in life..rather leaving out the unnecessary n holding on to wut's worth...

till then...enough of babbling for the day..gudnite :)

quote of d day

“Because, it's only when you’re tested that you truly discover who you are.”

Forgetting

Sometimes forgetting wut u wanted,
Perhaps forgetting wut ur intentions are,
Thus forgetting wut u'r suppose to do,
Forgetting is something that's not rare,
It's forgetting that happens all the time,
U keep on forgetting until in the end u dun remember..

Friends

True friends are like gem,
Precious and rare,
It's hard to find a true friend in life,
the ones who are really sincere with you,
But once found, forever kept in the heart,
Perhaps the time spend together is not that frequent,
But the thoughts and care is always in the heart,
These are the people who dun judge u n accept you for who u r,
and is always there for you,
whether visible to the eyes or a distant from you,
u know that they are just there.
You may have had downfalls with them,
But if the friendship is true,
The mishaps will end.
Perhaps no man is an island.
U need friends to colour ur life.
To all my true friends,
Thanx for every single thing u did that gave an impact to my life,
also thanx for all the help and advice that u gave to me,
and sori for everyting i caused that may have hurt you.

serabut

paths we venture

every step that we walk,
every path that we go through,
carries a different meaning,
each meaning is deep and hidden,
sometimes we dun take note or even care to bother,
sometimes the meaning is only discovered in the times to come,
persistent, slow or immediate,
it's still there,
the reason or meaning that lies within each path,
thus no regrets shuld b portrayed.
each step we take teaches us something new,
it reveals the sincerity that's buried deep within,
and also the clarity of the hearts,
as well as the sensibility and prudence that may or may not exist,
sometimes us human beings forget the beginning intentions,
thus twisting and turning to roads of events,
but perhaps clearing the mind once again,
n locating the thoughts and purposes..

colours

when you mix red and blue, u get purple,
the colour of calmness and serenity..
when u mix yellow and blue, u get green,
the refreshing colour of nature..
when u mix red and yellow, u get orange,
a colour that's cheerful and zesty..
when u mix white and black, u get gray,
a colour of gloom..
a colour which represents misery, with neverending amount of clouds over the head..

ramblings

i learn something today.i keep on learning everyday,which adds the colour to my life.:).first of all,i'd love to say thanx to all my true friends who has always been there even in times when i become a pain in the ass.huhu.without u guys perhaps life wuld be less colourful n cheerful.as the saying goes, no man is an island.u do need frens in life.either one or two or a whole batilion it's up you.well to me, the number doesn't count.sometimes the number is not big,but it is enough to make u happy.i realize that there are times when i just get crazy when i just think too much.tinking too much doesnt affect anyting,nor solve the problem that u may have.but it just gives u a big headache,which is like for no reason n is just affecting ur health in a way.y just tink so much when u know it wont change anyting.maybe thoughts n tinking is good,but too much of it may affect the neurons in your brain n wut happens after that,only God knows.haha.sounds like a saiko,ey.;p.hehe.well anyway, yeah, i guess smtimes there are just some points in your life when u shuld just stop tinking for a while.n just let things be wutever it is, n just accept anyting along the way in the journey of life.haha;p.myb im just saying this at this particular moment,n will keep on doing it in the time to come.;p.bcoz smtimes sayings r easier to be written than to be done.perhaps i just have to keep on reminding myself.till then..:)

better left unsaid.

some things are better left unsaid.the more u say, the more conflict u get, the more misunderstanding u create.perhaps just keeping inside is sometimes d best ting u culd do, at least, if not all the time.as they say silence is virtue.

nothing

i'm just tired.

ok, bye.

few words

just a few words for this posts:

dazed.scared.limbo.lost.fast.careful.wrong.beware.beza.lari.takot.

-

tagged by ju :)

apa perkara yang anda lakukan semalam sebelum tidur?
bukak contact lens, cuci muke, tutup lampu, bace doa tido

satu tabiat kebelakangan ni sebaik sahaja anda bangun tidur?
tengok jam kt hp, or cari hp kalo jatuh

makanan favourite untuk breakfast...
weetabix n soymilk n apple or some hot drink n bread will do

namakan satu tempat yang anda ingin pergi..
hmm..france perhaps ..or switzerland

apa nama lucu anda?
xde sgt

apa perkara paling best yang berlaku dalam hidup anda setakat hari ini?
hmm..i dun like to rate tings as being the best, bcoz sume sama je, having its ups n downs

nyatakan 3 talian hayat dalam hidup anda (jika anda berhadapan dgn masalah)
1) God
2) a close fren
3) a close fren

anda ingin atau sedang bercinta?
none of d above

apakah benda paling best yang pernah anda belikan untuk seseorang?
ntah..

apakah benda paling best yang pernah anda terima dari seseorang?
hmm..i appreciate every single ting given by anybody ;)

nyatakan 3 perkara yang boleh buat anda tersenyum..
1) ending a misunderstanding or mishaps wif another person
2) having clear mind wif a clear heart
3) having great friends by my side

lagu favourite anda ketika ini...
all i have - j lo

pengakuan berani mati yang pernah anda buat sepanjang hidup anda...
many to mention.hehe

im tagging:
1)amna
2)afir
3)amrin
4)emelin
5)fizam
6)alia

nonsense -ing

when i tink back bout all d tings dat make me upset or disappointed..all the mixed feelings just starts to erupt..sometimes it just makes me smile to just discover on my own out of interest..perhaps just a smile of acknowledgment n the fact that i wont let myself fall in a stream of deceptions..perhaps it's just said that it's always just gonna be that way, no matter how it's covered with sugar sweet conveyance..how i've spent days tinking on tings that perhaps are just overload thoughts..but i guess now, whenever i feel pissed or angry, i culd just say dis one sentence to myself, which will perhaps make me feel better:
'hey, wait a minute, - - - - - ' .
and just smile.smile.smile. the end.

reflections

sometimes u feel that u'r happy,
but deep inside it's still been empty,
sometimes u wonder where the sincerity lies,
is it just gone as time flies,
u do feel that u must give some care,
but perhaps somehow it's just as if the care's not there,
u sometimes feel that u lack of fulfillment,
n try to straightened a line that's bent,
u feel d necessity to purify,
but perhaps words of d past seem to clarify,
u want to walk a path of light,
thus positiveness is vital compared to fright,
perhaps u need a clear of mind,
searching for what you need to find..

michelle branch - breathe

lesson learned

this time i've really learned my lesson.
i always say that i did.
but this time around i'll b more careful.
maybe sometimes i was just so stupid.
perhaps the trust was always there.
but i guess now i know.
dat it's all d same.

'flying without wings'

''
everybody's looking for that something.
one thing that makes it all complete.
u find it in the strangest places.
places u never know it could be.
some find it in the face of their children.
some find it in their lover's eyes.
you can't deny d joy it brings.
when you find that special thing.
you're flying without wings.
some find the chair in every morning.
some in the solitary lines.
you find it in the word's of others.
a simple line can make u laugh.
or cry.
u find it in the deepest friendship.
the kind u cherish all your life.
n then u know how much it means.
u find that special thing.
u'r flying without wings
so impossible.
as it may seem.
u got to fight for every dreams.
coz who's to know.
which one you let go.
would it make u complete..

''

wut r u looking for, r the things you do rili define wut u want, n does the choices u make bring pain to some, culd u live with that, bearing in mind that smiles wont occur to all, how r u sure wut u choose is rite, wuld u still hold on to wut u believe, or perhaps just going against it...

maybe i - five for fighting

culdnt sleep, so dis is wut i did instead. perhaps a song i culd relate to a bit.

*a credit to amna for introducing dis song to me earlier dis yr ;)*

words don't construe

A week has passed.
A week filled with dramas.
A week of uneven breathers.
Days are never to be predicted.
Days of unplanned events.
Days filled with joys and tears.
To all the hearts that were touched.
To all the souls that were lost.
To all the tears that have fell.
Sorry for all the burdens caused.
Sorry for the unexpected nor inviting mishaps.
Sorry is perhaps just a word, rather strong but not enough to mend.
Wish to have pleased.
Wish to have evenly scattered.
Wish to rather satisfy.
But perhaps
Just an ordinary human being.
Just rather an unseen.
Just God knows wut lies n buried deep within.

Deep down there..

Look deep down wut culd u see..
Do u just feel the drizzling rain..
Silently flowing..
The pain, the footprints that may be left behind..
U know that down there it's just so deep..
The red that's still ripening,
Never yet lost or gone away,
It's always been there and always will..
But when you look beyond that,
U witness a sacrifice..
But perhaps rather vague in ur concreteness,
Perhaps your heart's voice is rather soundless,
Either you feel that u'r searching 4 a light,
Or losing some as well..

crazy

define the word above.
perhaps no single sentence culd actually define it.
be it first then u'll know wut it means.
n only then u'll know wut it's like to be it.
wut makes u be like it.
n why r u like it.
wut effect it brings to you.
there are no concrete answers.
but wut's for certain is d fact dat.
u'r just one of 'em.